Wednesday, November 25, 2009

secret agents vs. Schiacchia-Kos



agent y9n31t: Get a move on.
agent x2c45h: WHA?
agent y9n31t: There's not much time. This guy is starting to make trouble.
agent x2c45h: But if no one gives a flying fuck about him. He's totally bonkers.
agent y9n31t:  D.S.K. has become a real pain. They classified him in our files as a malignant artist, an enemy agent, a dangerous 666.
agent x2c45h: If you ask me, as artist 666 he's not worth a suck suck suck. He barely deserves a passing grade, a CCC minus minus minus, a yo-yo-yo.
agent y9n31t: Yer, yer, yer a dumbbell you are! Don't change the subject. What does the CCC have to do with it!? D.S.K. has offended the golden book of the élite, he's a traitor.
D.S.K. invented a scale 4 architecture conferences! Bleah! He's even attacked the nomenklatura that sucks up Venice and their ************* has ordered us to boycott him.
agent x2c45h: What we'll do?
agent y9n31t: First thing we'll put his "portrait" in the Doges Palace next to the veiled painting of the traitor Doge, Marin Falier, but instead of the dark veil we'll hit him in the face with a pair of underpants.
agent x2c45h: Dirty underpants, I'd say, old and dirty.
agent y9n31t: Ah! Great idea X2c45h, just great. Peed in his pants, he has!
agent x2c45h: And then?
agent y9n31t: D.S.K. is a member of the filthy race of heretics, he dared to put in doubt the glad tidings announced by the art critic, he offends the sacred truths of art, of the ready-made GRAAL - Duchamp's sacred GRAAL. We need to take radical action. We have to plan a damnatio memoriae right away. His name has got to be erased from all the class registers, from kindergarten, elementary school, middle school! Even the covert activity dossiers reporting him for numerous embarrassing episodes have got to disappear; even the bugs with the recorders between the legs of the little bar tables have got to forget him! We'll hypnotize them, we'll erase D.S.K. from their memory. We'll buy up every last disgusting thing he's painted - his paintings aren't worth a plugged nickel anyhow - and destroy them. We'll sand them down.
agent x2c45h: Wouldn't burning be better?
agent y9n31t: No no, better to sandpaper them one by one.
agent x2c45h: True. Better. We'll sand them. But getting rid of all the traces is difficult. In Venice there are more than 6000000 + 8000000 telecameras to control the city, useful also for us when we want to ********* (ommisis). D.S.K. filmed when he runs to go shopping, D.S.K. filmed when he goes to pay the rent, D.S.K. when he minds his own fucking business ...... a whole life on film.
agent y9n31t: With the computer we'll black out his image in the videos. We'll cover it with blots - underpants!
agent x2c45h: BlotKos! BlotKosKy!
agent y9n31t: X2c45h! Sel-control! Don't get carried away! If I weren't here the secret missions would be discoverd in 5 minutes!
agent x2c45h: I beg your pardon. Little tricks of stress, they've been working us too hard lately. In the past few days they gave me the job to ****** ***** ** *******. I told those guys at the ********* that they should plan the missions better! We're not well coordinated. Also at the conference of the architect ******* (omissis), last week, the hall was full, but there were only three real spectators, all the others were secret agents!
agent y9n31t: Ah yes!
agent x2c45h: Too much work lately.
agent y9n31t: Yeah... too much "work", lately.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009